People of Walmart

 

 

Today we went on a family outing....to WALMART. Now, those of you who know me probably have made fun of me at some point because of my couponing and thrift store perusing, but I must admit.....I am a bit of a grocery store snob. I love Publix and most always buy my groceries there. I get the deals and I know the layout of the store except for those wonderful times marketing consultants come in and remap the store so that you cant find the thing you were going to buy in its normal spot and end up buying 27 more items you didn't come in for while searching for its new location. Anyhoo....my dear hubby hates it when I buy groceries because I don't do a lot of "convenience" foods and as I said before, I tend to be thrifty with my shopping. So today we went as a family to Walmart, even bringing one of Rylie's friends along who came over after church. Ahhh, Walmart. The trip began with all three kids jumping into the shopping cart, thus mandating me to acquire a second cart for our groceries. As I began to shop the fresh produce, my husband and the kids disappeared faster then you can say "watch for falling prices". I soon caught up with them in the frozen food section where the kids had been ejected to make room for corn dogs and Little Debbies. As I rolled up beside the shorties, Rylie's friend Emma said, "Um, that is the healthy cart and this is the junk food cart." I 'll let you guess whose was whose. So we went our separate ways again. A bit later I was finished with the "health food" items and went to catch up with them in toiletries. As I got closer I heard the distinctive wail of my 3 year old son. I got  closer and saw my husband frantically wheeling them out of the sporting good section with a sheepish grin, mumbling under his breath "we gotta get outta here...". The crying had subsided, and Rylie was saying "Mom, Cohen smells like dead fish..." as Stewart wheeled them towards the register. All I could smell was Tahitian Vanilla and asked them why they smelled like an air freshener. After $$$ at the register (that is what happens when my junk food bandits are along for grocery shopping) I finally asked Stewart what really went down in there....He told me that when he was in the refrigerated section he looked over and a man was looking just past him and said "uh-oh", then he turned around to see Rylie (our 6 yr old) standing by a gallon of sweet tea that she dropped in the floor....slowly glug, glug, glugging out (his words). He quickly righted the jug and they jetted, only to make it over to the fish tanks where Cohen popped the front of one of the tanks off exposing the pumps and thus getting a lovely aromatic layer of aquarium silt on him (that explains Rylie's dead fish comment), leading to the screeching I heard. Oh, and I can't forget the unexplained Tahitian Vanilla smell....somewhere in the midst of this Cohen grabbed a vanilla air freshener and sprayed in right in his eye. Good times. Good times:)