Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Struck down, but not destroyed....

Many of you know that a short time ago we announced that we were expecting our 2nd child....we had our first ultrasound on December 22 & saw the baby with its tiny heartbeat at only 6 1/2 weeks! It was amazing. A few days ago I started having some problems & we went in to the Dr. for an ultrasound where our fears were confirmed. Our little baby's heart had stopped. My Dr. was very kind & compassionate with us, as we had been trying for a while to have this baby. I had to have a procedure done & she scheduled it immediately. It is a blessing to have a Dr. that is so empathetic. She hugged me & Stewart and told us she was sorry & was very reassuring. She told us it was probably a chromosomal defect or could have been a heart defect or something else very serious. It is kind of a blur really. It seems like something you always hear about but would never really happen to you. As we Stewart & I waited for my procedure, one of the nurses & the nurse anethesist both told me they had been through miscarriages as well. They were both nice ladies, and I believe God placed them there to comfort me because they have been through it. As I woke up from surgery, the nurse taking care of me talked to me & we talked about how the Lord gets you through these times in your life. God has really spoken to me & Stewart over the past few days. Stewart reminded me of the scripture that says that God gives us the good & the hard times & we have to praise him through them all. That is so true. Rylie has a CD with bible verses that are set to music & one ran through my head yesterday..."Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not unto your own understanding;in all your ways acknowledge Him & He shall direct your paths" how appropriate. Our ways are not His ways.....when things don't happen just as we think they should, that is just the problem....that is the way WE think they should be & not the perfect plan that God has for our lives. I would have never wanted this, but there is a reason God is taking us through this pain. In 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 it says"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." I read this verse the night before I had the miscarriage. I prayed so hard for God to save this baby as I began to have complications, but that wasn't his will. He has a bigger plan, but we have yet to see it. I know that he has provided us with the most gracious, caring group of friends & family that we could ask for. They have showered our family with prayers, cards, flowers, great food & more than anything compassion & love. They have cried with us & held us in our tears. I am so thankful to have a husband who is such a godly man & has been so strong through this time. I know he is hurting, too, but he puts me first. I thank God for our beautiful daughter, also. He has already blessed us so richly! So, as for me & my house...we will continue to serve the Lord & wait for whatever blessings that may be in his will for our future! Thank you all for everything you have done for us....we love you!